


Coda: Aftercare

by CurlicueCal, LaughingStones



Series: Shadowbound AU [11]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Collars, Cuddles, Daemons, Demonstuck, Humanstuck, Insecurity, conversations in the middle of the night, magic as science, soulbond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 08:53:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16909926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CurlicueCal/pseuds/CurlicueCal, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaughingStones/pseuds/LaughingStones
Summary: In which there is aftercare and Dirk doesn't notice.





	Coda: Aftercare

**Author's Note:**

> quick little oneshot follow up to the previous fic cuz we had feels

Gamzee woke in the warm dark, limbs twined around someone all still and peaceful, breathing slow. Dirk. Gamzee squeezed him a little tighter, glanced around, blearily seeking out the light--found not much to speak of, faint bright spot out the window but no light cast in. Kurloz a low presence at the back of his head, barely perceptible.

No need to panic. His heart beat a little faster anyway as he untangled himself from Dirk, clambered off the bed, Dirk making a quiet noise as the mattress shifted. Just open the door, flick on the hallway light--Gamzee let out a breath as Kurloz snapped into full depth and power again, his shadow sprawling on the floor around Gamzee's feet.

 _Now_ Gamzee could go back to sleep.

Slight weight caught his neck as he turned back, and he raised a puzzled hand to it. Smooth soft leather against his fingers. Gamzee's breath caught as full memory slammed back into him; Dirk laying claim with this collar, the way everything up and went warm and soft and close all at once when it went on his neck. Dirk all sweetness and steel giving orders. Gamzee obeying.

He'd obeyed, he'd _wanted_ all of it, but motherfuck if the memory of it wasn't a little unnerving. He'd barely been able to make words happen. Like this scrap of leather went and--did something to his head, got him high, but a _weird_ motherfucking high. One he didn't know was coming, hadn't sought out apurpose.

 _Better than the kind you do seek betimes_ , Kurloz said. _Sets you in your vulnerability, sure enough, but leaves me well able to protect you. Unlike that wicked heinous leaf you please nought but yourself with._

Gamzee rolled his eyes and didn't bother to make answer. He felt out the collar, heart beating faster again as he looked for the buckle, then wondered all sudden if he was meant to take it off, or if Dirk meant that for himself.

Hands pausing, he eyed Dirk where he still slept on the bed, curled around Gamzee’s absence, Hal a faint, dreaming ripple on the sheets behind him. Should he--was he meant to wait, would it be better if he did or if he didn’t--was he even meant to _be_ here still, they’d never said--

Kurloz hummed, snaking out a coil. _We’re meant to do as we please, little brother. And they’re meant to bend and render unto us, as is right._ The questing coil brushed Hal, and that fuzzy, sleepy haze of him gathered and stretched, Dirk turning over and making a drowsy noise.

Gamzee’s heartbeat picked up even more, an inexplicable hammering in his chest that wouldn’t let him move, and he just kinda stood there in the doorway, frozen and stupid, as Hal slid up the headboard and took form, as Dirk shifted again, running a hand across the sheets, and then the whole feel of them both slid over into wakefulness.

Dirk lifted his head.

Gamzee swallowed, arms crossing over his chest, wrapping around him. Dirk laid claim, he reminded himself, wasn't gonna throw him out on the curb, wanted him for true. Didn't soothe the pound against his ribs or the tension in his shoulders none.

Amber eyes found him, and Dirk stilled, Hal tensing into something careful and equally frozen. 

“...’Zee?” Dirk asked, voice still husky with sleep. “S’everything… okay?”

Gamzee licked his lips and nodded. Struggled with it a second before adding a more honest shrug. With Dirk awake and looking at him, and with Gamzee hyperaware of the collar on his neck, he could feel the edges of that weird deep-drowning feeling tugging seductively at him, trying to pull him down again. The panic made it easy to resist, but he was still well unsettled, like walking along a high place with a long drop below.

He tugged at the collar with a thumb, figured asking would tell him if it was allowed or not, and he'd scramble then to fix it if not. “Can, uh, can this be all to coming off, maybe? Like, just for now?”

Dirk blinked twice, moved to sit up, and then went still again. Took Gamzee a moment to realize he’d tensed at Dirk's movement, nearly a flinch, what the fuck even, he hadn’t up and meant to do that.

“Of course,” Dirk said, and his eyes were so intent on Gamzee--hitting sharp and deep as knives the way they did sometimes, when it seemed like he was trying to see right down under Gamzee's skin. His voice was soft and careful. “Whatever you want. Do you need help with it?”

Gamzee nodded again. He could get it figured out on his own, but letting Dirk do it was better. Like an apology, sort of.

He went over to the bed, leaned down over Dirk with his chin tipped up, helpful and hoping. Dirk’s fingers were cool on his skin, a light, efficient touch, the resonance chiming, fading, chiming again, and then the pressure of the collar was gone from his neck and Gamzee blew out a long breath. He was all mixed up and bewildered with it. Shaky and relieved. Feeling weird and kind of dumb.

Dirk sat the rest of the way up, hands keeping very much to themselves, collar clutched down by his bare knee where the sheets had fallen away. Much as Gamzee couldn’t make sense of his own feelings, he _really_ couldn’t get a hold on the tangle that was Dirk-via-Hal right now, just a whole knotty bundle of powerful, confusing emotion.

“Sorry,” Dirk said after a moment. “Should have remembered before.” He made an uncertain gesture, eyes going uneasily past Gamzee toward the hall. “And about the lights. My bad.”

Gamzee shrugged that off, shook his head, dropping to sit on the bed since it seemed allowed. “No, _I'm_ sorry, bro, I don't mean to be--like, not wanting--I still wanna be yours.” His eyes were anxious on Dirk's. “I just--it made my head up and go all funny.”

Dirk opened his mouth, paused, and ended with the cutest little furrow between his brows like all his non-stop smartnesses had up and got tangled over themselves inside. He closed his mouth again.

 _There’s, like. Twelve different things that need addressing in that,_ said Hal, and then added, _Angel._

Half the tightness all holding Gamzee drawn and worried up and melted away at that. He gave Hal a shy little smile, warmed to the bones of him. They weren't mad, then, not if Hal was up and calling him sweet things still. 

Dirk’s tense lines softened down some, Hal’s tangle of nerves unwinding around a struck chord of affection. “That… sounds like subspace. _Seemed_ like subspace from where I was standing. It can… happen sometimes, in a scene. ‘S an adrenaline thing. Some people like it.”

More of Gamzee's tension took leave from him with a long breath in and out. It made a difference for that strange feeling to be a known thing, named and all, not just some weirdness up and coming on a brother out of nowhere.

 _Dirk likes it,_ Hal volunteered. _But then, he’ll do just about anything to get out of his head now and then._

Dirk’s eyes cut towards his shadow-brother, but he shrugged. “Yeah. Like I said. But you don’t… it doesn’t have to be a thing if it was too weird. It’s not for everyone. Either direction.”

Gamzee sat and blinked a second, taking that in, thinking on it. “Yeah? Huh.” He reached out, took Dirk's hand with a cautious look that it was okay. Resonance rang through, sleepy and focused all at once, no hint of impatience or annoyance in the concern and affection there.

“Dunno,” he said after another minute, tracing patterns up Dirk's arm with a fingertip. “Might have to up and think on that some. Wasn't… _bad_. Felt good. Just. Fucking weird.”

“Yeah.” Dirk’s hand was soft and lax in Gamzee’ hold, eyes following the path of his touch, and it was hella weird and kinda fun how Gamzee could _feel_ the tension sliding more and more out of him, like something he could brush away with his fingers. Maybe couldn’t do it for his own nerves, but it was cool to be able to do it to Dirk. 

“Did you…” Dirk swallowed and started again. “Should I have stopped? I wasn’t expecting, and we didn’t really talk about it before, so.” 

Gamzee blinked into the pause, puzzled. This did not seem to ease Dirk, who made a move as if to reclaim his arm.

“No?” Gamzee said, reluctant to let go Dirk's hand.

Not near a solid enough answer, apparently, because Dirk went on, unheeding, “Sorry, I guess, if I did anything you wish I hadn’t.”

“No!” Gamzee said. “Damn, brother, no, it was fucking _good_ , woulda messed everything up to quit for nothing. Just. Gotta think before I go for it again, you know?”

Dirk stared at him and then smiled, a little thing, but wry and real and meant. “I’ve got some familiarity with the phenomenon, yes.” He turned his hand, stroking fingers over Gamzee’s wrist. “ _Somebody_ always steals my common sense.”

Gamzee pressed his lips together and nodded solemnly, then shook his head admonishingly at Hal. “Motherfucking nuisance, your bro, gets you in all kinds of trouble that way.”

Hal played at leaning back on a shadow-hand, tilting his head. _Might as well. *I’m* the common sense in this relationship and he never listens to me anyway. At least you’re fun._ He slid a finger over to poke at Kurloz.

Dirk rolled his eyes. “‘I’m the common sense’ he says, while trying to pick a fight with the sexy monster under the bed.”

Gamzee snickered. “So.” He slanted a glance up to meet Dirk's eyes again. “I'm still yours, and all?”

Dirk didn’t blink, but his eyes went rounder, pupils widening to darken the gold. His fingers twitched around Gamzee’s wrist as he drew in a long, unsteady breath. “I said, didn’t I? Long as you want to be. _However_ you want to be.” His fingers twitched again, tightened. “Not letting go until you tell me to.”

Gamzee's grip tightened too, and he let out a breathless laugh, relief slamming full-force into him to leave him all dazed and filled up with warm fuzzies. “Guess we're gonna be all to sticking together a good while longer yet,” he said, and leaned in to bump his forehead against Dirk's shoulder. He was still wanted, they were still okay. Nothing lost yet, no one leaving.

The nerves that had him strung taut with fretting all eased into calm, and without them, his eyes were sagging shut all sleepy again. All he wanted was to tangle himself around Dirk and drift off. Dirk reached up to brush hair back away from Gamzee's eyes and he leaned further into the touch, weight settling into him.

“Tragedy,” Dirk said, all soft and fond, warm-fuzzy right back through the resonance. The hand slipped up to pet his head, and Gamzee just about turned to liquid. He grumbled when Dirk stirred.

“I never got you cleaned up,” Dirk said.

“D'n care,” Gamzee mumbled, and sank down the rest of the way to lie flat on the bed, tugging Dirk to follow.

“Ought to--” Dirk resisted, but not with a lot of coordination. Didn’t seem to want to let Gamzee’s hands off him, which was a sentiment Gamzee was more than happy to work with. “I should take care of you,” Dirk murmured, and his voice sounded so distressed. “After.”

“T'morrow,” Gamzee said, nuzzling a shoulder as he pulled Dirk down and wrapped arms firmly around him, legs twining with his. “'S time for sleep, bro.”

“Mmf. Bossy.” The resistance was fading out of Dirk though, tension draining from his limbs. 

Kurloz slid in around them, a close, comforting circle of dark and warm and deadly, and Gamzee was more than halfway to being asleep when Dirk spoke again.

“Was good. I liked it. You were really good.”

Gamzee hummed soft and pleased and kissed Dirk's shoulder, a ripple of startled warmth going through him. Could be he oughta say something back, but he was too sleepy for words to come.

“'F I say that, you’re not gonna… think you gotta. Right?”

Gamzee snorted quietly and pushed himself up on an elbow, blinked sleepy exasperation down at his boyfriend. (His boyfriend, for real and true and maybe for good.) “Motherfucker,” he said, nosing Dirk's chin, “go the fuck to sleep. We're all up and finished with the worrying bit now, you can get your try on at that in the morning if you gotta. Now shush.” He flopped down again and snuggled viciously.

“Okay,” Dirk said, then after a little bit, “...sorry.”

 _This is hilarious,_ Hal commented.

“I’m stopping,” Dirk said, chin ducking down to hide in Gamzee’s hair.

_You literally don’t know how._

Gamzee snickered once, and reeled Dirk down to press fingers over his lips, hold him still and quiet and close. His mind was all sleepy fondness and he let that sing between them in the resonance ‘til the sharper edges of Dirk’s mind blurred and softened away.

Kurloz was a thrum of sharp presence at the back of Gamzee's mind, Dirk warm against him, Hal a velvet buzz beyond him. Sighing satisfaction, Gamzee drifted off.


End file.
